About all the wank…and not just the wank of the moment but the wank that happens anytime one of our boys says or does something at a Con we find offensive or mean-spirited.
Now I’m kind of like a duck…I let things roll of my back and think about them awhile before I have a knee jerk reaction to something…thus my late arrival into the melee. I’m also considerably older than the vast majority of you, so I have been watching on-line wank since before most of you were born. I’m just going to do the motherly speech here and hope that a) I make some of you think, and b) I don’t end up with an Ask Box full of hate. I’m aiming this at EVERYONE…not just those that spew hate or have problems with things that the Supernatural boys have said.
*deep breath* Here goes:
I know some people react differently to things, and that some have triggers, but jeez guys. Where was all this wank when Lucifer was suggestively calling Sam his “bunk buddy” ON SCREEN…in an actual broadcasted episode? If that didn’t scream rape I don’t know what would.
Was it different because some faceless writer had the characters say it? Misha implying that Meg would do something noncon to Cas is not exactly news to any of us…in fact I saw several posts before the con that questioned just that…and several fics. Why wasn’t anyone up in arms about that? Probably because a celebrity said it and not some random faceless fan? He did in fact say that it was awful to think that didn’t he?
Some people hold them to a higher standard just because they are celebrities and they are in fact just people who make mistakes, have their own opinions that may or may not match yours (notice I didn’t say right or wrong). Would YOU want hundreds of thousands of people taking everything you said tearing it apart, taking it out of context and imposing their own past on it? Well yeah you would or you wouldn’t be posting here, but I mean in public…in front of REAL people. I wouldn’t, but the guys put themselves out there for us anyway. True they are making money off it, but they could just make movies or take other work. They really don’t have to provide the personal fan interaction.
Here we sit on tumblr having fun at their expense, making slashy GIFs/Vids and ogling their asses, hands, eyes, and crotches. We objectify them DAILY…draw recognizable pictures of them in compromising/questionable situations, photo-shop pictures that make non-existent relationships look real, write RPF/slash that is sometimes so out there I cringe…and yet they are still showing up at conventions even though they probably think we are all bat-shit crazy. We critique every move they make, but yet if they came back and did the same to us we’d cry foul!
We seem to be able to do whatever we want with their bodies and faces…that’s really a kind of non-con now isn’t it? We are virtually raping their images with every post and reblog of “questionable” material because they have no control over it, and we feel entitled to inspect their every word as if the boys are OURS. They aren’t. They aren’t coming down on us for what we do here are they? They know it’s here…you know they know it’s here since their managers/handlers are probably scoping it out even if they aren’t personally doing it.
I don’t care exactly what Misha/Jensen said. (I DO know what they said…I just don’t care because that isn’t the point) Put yourself on that stage and try to not say something stupid or something that will offend someone in the audience at least once in all the cons they go to.
Week after week they fly thousands of miles with little sleep just so we can see them and meet with them. Sometimes, like at Nashcon this year, they are filming late and then fly straight to the Con with no sleep whatsoever. When you are standing in line to get a Photo Op you are standing there a fraction of the time that they are unless you are at the very end of the line. From the Photo Op they go straight to a Meet and Greet, from there to autographs, from there to a panel, constantly on the move and probably tired as all get out. If you had to do the same do you think you’d be thinking straight enough to ALWAYS say the right thing?
I know I couldn’t manage to please everyone…could you? I’d probably be a blubbering lump of flesh in Cas’ mental ward…with the specter of everything I’d ever said in public haunting me instead of Lucifer…endlessly worrying about this thing or that thing I said that might have offended someone. Stop and think about it from THEIR point of view.
I know from being at Cons that sometimes things come across differently in videos than they do in person. Even when you are in the room you can miss something said on the other side of the room that puts things in context. I know at Nashcon some people came down on a person that asked a supposedly “slashy” (Destiel) question of Jensen. I was there and I really didn’t see it as slashy (and I ship it so if anyone was going to I would)…nor did anyone that I spoke to see it that way after I found out about the wank. Sometimes you have no context at all so knee jerk reactions to a supposed slight or off-hand comment are really not constructive at all. Stop…take a deep breath and think about it before you go off on someone. This includes going off on a tear about something someone else found offensive that you didn’t (which is why I thought about this for a while).
Watch Misha’s first con…then watch him as he goes to more cons. He becomes more and more like the Misha we know now over time, because WE have told him through actions and reactions that we LIKE it (most of us anyway). At first we didn’t ask about slash…now we are asking openly and often. What does he do? He goes with it, because it’s his job to entertain us and we ask for it vocally and often. We have TRAINED him to be the over the top, suggestive, snarky person that he appears to be at Cons. He’s actually quite sweet and considerate when you are one on one with him, but when he hits the stage he’s what we as a fandom have asked him to be. He’s playing the part that we have directed him to.
He’s a dorky, douchey, filthy-minded, irreverent asshole and some love that…some don’t. Yeah I love him most of the time, but there are times I’m eye-rolling so bad at him my eyes fall out. He’s said some really stupid things…some really sweet things…some really thought provoking things. But I’m not going to condemn him for saying ONE thing wrong every so often. That goes for anyone I know…not just celebrities with whom I have a passing fancy. (Yes…one day I’ll be on to someone else probably as we all will) He’s going to make mistakes because he ISN’T perfect. No one is.
If you don’t like him then I can see where you might not, but I’m not going to disparage you for not liking him. Nor am I going to spew hate all over you because you like someone I don’t. Spread love for who you like…not hate for who you don’t. You’ll be a happier person for it in the long run.
Jensen has said several times in interviews that some writers are good with story lines but not with keeping the guys in character. This includes both male and female writers. He and Jared both have said this and talked about how they have lobbied for changes when something is so obviously OOC. From what Jensen said he wasn’t being homophobic or whatever when he suggested the changes, he just didn’t think Dean would say those things…and he was right IMHO. He’s very protective of the character he has created, and he knows better than anyone what Dean would and would not say. You’ll notice that most of the “homo-erotic subtext” comes from other characters dialog…not Dean’s…if you look closely. Dean just eye-rolls at said dialog for the most part.
We all know Jensen seems to be (notice I didn’t say IS because I have no way of knowing…he could just be shy) uncomfortable with discussing slash, but yet he is put in the position to have to talk about it at almost every con. He could just storm off the stage and refuse to answer, but he doesn’t. He tries to answer even when he apparently doesn’t want to. Yes, Misha’s description of the scene in question in the most recent round of wank was not “PC”, but it was pretty obvious that he and Jensen agreed that whatever Sera had written (and I got the impression that the one line in the preview but not in the show wasn’t all of it) wasn’t something those two characters would say to each other. Saying it was because she was a girl might have been a tad insensitive, but it’s probably true because let’s face it…most girls write differently than men because we ARE different and see things differently.
He tried the best way he knew how to explain what they did and I really don’t think he was being homophobic about it…just trying to give a more PC explanation than Misha did. Maybe it sounded homophobic…but let’s face it…canon Dean probably is…a least a little…no matter how much our little shipper hearts want to believe otherwise.
Until Jensen calls a press conference and announces that he is indeed a homophobic person then none of us have any way of knowing exactly how he feels about it, and have no right to call him out on a heat of the moment comment that may or may not have been intended the way we thought he meant it.
Anyway…I know that some people were really offended and have a right to voice their opinion. This post was not intended to belittle their opinion or hate them for saying it, but perhaps to show them an alternate way of looking at things. If they still feel that Jensen/Misha are horrible people then I respect that and I’ll shut up. I certainly have no idea what experiences they have had that might trigger in situations like this, and if my essay serves to make them feel worse about the situation I’m truly sorry.
I also think that too much hate was directed at the people that started it for voicing their feelings about it. None of us know in the end what J&M truly were trying to convey and I think both sides were way off the deep end and we should all just meet in the middle and get back to fandom business?
Remember that even our US President has been known to say things he shouldn’t and he of all people should know better (*tongue firmly in cheek* OMG! Call the NAACP! She just just showed how awfully racist she is by implying that he is black…sorry just trying to anticipate all the hate I’m going to get for this). I’m thinking specifically of the Special Olympics remark…Google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Now it’s 4:00 am and I started writing this at midnight…so yes I put alot of thought into it. I hope it gives each and everyone of you something to think about whether you were offended by the recent remarks or by the fact that others were offended..or even if you had no opinion at all. I’m not saying anyone was wrong or right, just that we all can use a reality check here and there.
As Emmanuel said to Dean…”You’re not a machine, Dean. You’re human.” Misha and Jensen aren’t machines either…they are human and can and WILL make mistakes. Until/unless they start spewing it at every turn let’s just take the occasional slip with a grain of salt?
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- novembersguest answered: Great post. I was also thinking about how people love to manip them/write stuff that’s all kinds of PC incorrect, but no one objects..
- estelex answered: Yeah so everyone needs to read this. Thank you for the lovely post.
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- hera621 answered: Great Response!! And very well thought out!! Glad you took the time out to write it!! =)